It's Me! I Swear!!

This is what I've been saying about my situation all along.

I also put the article behind this lovely lj cut:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Read more... )

------------------------------------------------------------


I still have not received word as to whether or not Indy Mac has approved my short sale. This means that the foreclosure procedings commence as scheduled with an auction date in late February. I am no longer in control. I did my part. I sold it and I've arranged for my departure. Do they have a strategy for their delinquency? Does their delay have anything due to a recent ruling in my neighborhood? I want out. I don't want this house. They can have it. Just sign the deal before I call a local Nassau Judge who will find that we were treated just as unfairly as the Suffolk County couple who was awarded their home because of IndyMacs unfair business practices. But the fact remains that I don't want this house. I feel that I should be paid at least 100k in restitution for the losses I took in the value of my home. This represents the difference in the value that my home was worth at the time that I took out my loan only three years ago. Back when we all had money and life was good.

I feel bad for the couple who came through here and said my house was "perfect". They have since jumped every hoop and twist to finalize their end of the deal. I want them to have their "home" here. In this case, my buyers are now at the whim of IndyMac's "Repulsive" business practices. I too fell under the let's renege a deal game. I paid 1 month's worth and then a second month. The first month payment was applied and accepted. I sent the second month while another letter crossed in the mail. The new letter explained that our deal was no longer being supported by their underwriters or something of the like. The second payment was held "in escrow" as unapplied funds. So they decided I am not worth keeping my home. This is the state of affairs.They would not negotiate a lower anything because of our current financial situation. Our situation was lower than the bracket that was in their "acceptable range". But that still doesn't change the fact that I am happy to be out of this house shortly. I just hope they aren't stalling a young family that wants a home here.

I signed it all and paid for it all last Tuesday. I felt like I was picked clean to the bone. 2 month's security. 1st month's rent. Another month for the realtors to pick at. My family seriously came through for me. This would not have been possible without them.

The grounds are maintained. (Anyone wanna buy a lawn mower? Gas blower? Hedge Clippers?) I am allowed to put in a vegie garden in the backyard. The yard is big so the kids have plenty of room to play. Unfortunately we will be leaving the swingset behind at the old house. It is too old to be moved and reassembled. We'll see about having another one installed. It's gonna take a while to get used to having to ask permission for things like that.

The inside is nice. The floors are all hardwood throughout the first floor. Once you walk in you have the kitchen to the right. It is an eat in kitchen so things will be a little tight for all of us to be eating in. To the left is the living room. It is large with a full wall of windows. certainly big enough to accomodate this crowd. The stairs to my penthouse suite are directly in front of the door. The kids bedrooms are to the back of the house on the first floor. On the left is the larger of the three. I'll be putting Marlena and Kayla in there with all assorted toys and stuff. Caleb and Taty will be having the old rock paper scissors thing going on for the other two rooms. They get their own full bathroom down there as well. Upstairs is my suite. They took the whole space and gave it an open floor plan with a walk in closet and full bathroom. I get out of the basement here and move into a gorgeous expansive room on the top floor. I'm lovin this and can hardly wait to make the change. Dec 15th, here I come.

Everybody wants to skip to the food. Thanksgiving has become totally lost on people. Thanksgiving is a gluttonous pile of food, football to the men, and a good meal before kamikaze shopping on Friday for the ladies. The kids almost forgot why they were off from school.

My family has shrunk down considerably over the years. We have moved all across the country and haven't sat at the same table in over 20 years. This year is service for 12. My Uncle will be in from PA and my grandparents are here from Iceland. It will be nice to be more than just "us". It's about family for the sake of family.

Whether you come together as blood family or as your family of friends that the powers that be have crossed with your path. It is a time to be thankful for the people in your life that support you through every diligent step. I am truly thankful for my family and the support they provide. I am also thankful that, after all this, I will be needing a lot less support.

I have a house.

Court went well. That is if you consider nothing happening as a good thing. She has surrounded herself with a team of liars and the judge could smell it. The County and the baby's law guardian are all in full support of what we aim to do. Her lawyer was not prepared and forced a postponement for December. But this is also a good thing. It will go straight to a hearing. No more plans. No more conferences. It's action time.

We are off to court tomorrow. She's fighting custody while CPS puts in a note to terminate her parental rights. This should be interesting. Hubby and I will be discussing new details at length. Apparently she's been in touch with MIL. Cuz you know grandma can't help but to talk to her. Funny how the plot thickens at the eleventh hour. Once again she stands there with her newborn shield as the poor poor mommy. Apparently she said she is finished having kids because she finally got the boy she always wanted. She is a sick sick girl. I feel so sorry for that boy. I can only save so much of the world at once. I pray that this judge is sympathetic to the fact that this newborn represents precisely what happens when you are sympathetic to someone who doesn't give a shit. She went back to jail and had another baby within months of her release. She had the support, the counselors, the networks and connections to walk a straighter path. Once she reached a point where she was required to be responsible for her own actions, she was never. She consistantly chooses the same wrong path. for the last eleven years, this is how she operates. She is in it for the free ride. She is not capable of being responsible for her own actions. This puts children in harms way. This makes headlines.

Ta daa. The house passed inspection.

Now my mortgage company is sending an appraiser to the house to be sure that the price offered is in fact "fair market value". Which, it is. That's when the clock officially starts. It's exciting and stressful. Mamma bird is really wanting to settle a new nest. Dec 1st would be nice if we are staying in the neighborhood. If not, then January would be fantastic. So the kids can start new schools with the new year. Half here and half where we land. I'll be putting in my offer on Monday. I'll have a check procured by then as well. Keep fingers crossed cuz this is the one I want.

Halloween was strange this year. I didn't decorate. I had two little pumpkins out front that I didn't even carve. This was the first time in my life I didn't have a jack o lantern. But things are what they need to be right now. The kids went to thier friends houses and had parties elsewhere. I was home with the wee ones doing the six block circumference trick or treating marathon. My girlfriend DiDi kept us company for the first round. Kayla was a pro by house #2. "Trick or Treat! Smell my feet!" Then she'd start making requests if they gave her a candy she didn't want. "Do you have lollypops instead?" Too cute!

We are making our exit plans. We have our hearts set on one particular house in the neighborhood. I've been talking about it like it's already mine. I think a little positive manifestation should serve me well.

The people who signed the contract to purchase our house are still jumping through financial hoops to get approvals. They need to have an FHA inspector come and have a look. The new guy will be here to install banisters on the basement steps and on the front porch in order to pass the inspection. They really love the house and are willing to make whatever repairs necessary to get in here.I really hope it works out for all of us.

I hope to be spending my birthday in my new house this December. I think they'd like to move in for the new year. I'd call that a win-win scenario. So far so good.

Hubby and I have had our rough emotional patches lately as well. When you are fighting this many battles it certainly can start to stress the core. Our core has been rattled. We endured a couple of stress fractures and started barking at one another for a spell. We were distancing ourselves from one another and it was getting scarey. What we learned though, is that our ties are stronger than our stresses. Even through all this. What's nice to know is that after 15 years we are still able to sort things through and spend enough time with one another to maintain that core. Honesty is still our best policy. Even when it is served up on a pile of shit and walloped over your head as blunt as a two by four. Sometimes, reality is served that way.

So, it's been a week since I've poked my head around here. We will be going to court soon for permanent V-Docket custody of one absolutely fantastic little girl. The County Child Protective Service (CPS) agent is in our corner and is looking to get the judge to go for a total Termination of her Parental Rights (TPR). However, in order to proceed, we are required to serve Rebecca with the paperwork. We also have to cough up $100 to hire a company to do so for us. Nobody related. Nobody with any connections to the case whatsoever.

Here's the catch...( Read more )

Every day we are tormented with the latest and greatest in Disney Channel and Cartoon Network. Over and over I watch the same episodes of Hanna Montana, Wizards, SpongeBob, and other mindless nonsense that has found it's tentacles into my children's skulls. I shut it off and they went through heroine-like withdrawals. They didn't know that the TV was only one entity of their lives. It is controled by only one button. "OFF" After that they didn't know what to do with themselves. There were four children in a room and they all forgot how to play together. It was very sad. So I pointed out the TV soundtrack of our lives to Brian and he agrees that it's time to shut it down. He is usually the worst TVaholic of them all.

I am a proud anti-TVaholic these days. I don't know why they are all so upset though. It is merely a lit box full of lies.

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, FOX NEWS HOST: You have seen the healthcare town halls, but people in Michigan had a whole different town hall today. The fire hot topic was Gitmo prisoners.

Why would Michigan be so interested in Gitmo prisoners? Well, because they may get them whether they like it or not.

President Obama's administration has its eyes on a state prison, the one in Standish, Michigan. The Standish prison is slated to be close, but President Obama thinks he can kill two birds with one stone.

He can stash the Gitmo prisoners there and get rid of that headache. And with a new prison population, deeper prison open -- and yes, jobs in a state that has a huge unemployment rate.

Residents, though, in Standish, had a town hall, and a woman whose brother died on 9/11 had a stern warning.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DEBRA BURLINGAME, SISTER OF PILOT WHO DIED ON 9/11: These detainees are not like ordinary criminals. Yes, the federal prison system is very good at dealing with hardened sociopaths, serial killers, and rapists.

But those hardened criminals do not have global jihadi networks outside of the wire and over the walls where they are kept that are preparing to come and do martyrdom operations. If they are brought here and a federal judge orders them to be released, where do you think they are going to go? They are going to be here.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My biggest concern is not whether they break out. It will be who breaks them out. And what are they going to do to break the matter this prison? Will they take one of your schools hostage? You do not want these guys in Michigan.

(END VIDEO CLIP)


You can read the whole report here:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,541300,00.html

This report made me mad as hell. This is my response to those people who don't want it in their backyard. I am also not surprised that this sort of newscast would come from FOX. TOTAL shocker there.

Dear Standish Michigan,

I live 40 miles outside the NYC boroughs. This makes me a target everyday. I was a target on 9/11. My brother was in Manhattan that day. He was working on a roof top in the Flatiron district. The plane passed over him seconds before impacting the twin towers. Thousands perished that day, as targets. Fortunately, my brother walked over the bridge to get out of the City that day. I didn't want it in my backyard either. But there I was, watching a plume of smoke that I could see from 40 miles away.

As Americans, we were all targets that day. People came from everywhere to help clean up and sort things out. As Americans we are also obligated to finish what we started. If these people are in fact combative persons of interest. I am more than happy to know that they are locked up in my back yard. I know right where they are and I know that my eyes will have to be on that spot. These days, here in NY, they walk among us. We don't know where they are. We don't know who they are. We just know that they are here.

Down the block from my house here in suburbia Long Island, there is a convenience store. My son and I used to walk there when he was 3 and 4 years old back in 1999 and 2000. I'd buy the milk and "Frankie" would give my son a lolipop for the walk home. Frankie would always be there, no matter what time it was. They posted no formal business hours. Just open early and open late. They also never ran out of lolipops. My son called it the lolipop store. We all started calling it the lolipop store.

That plume of smoke was still in the air when they put the locks on the lolipop store. Word on the street from the neighbors that were being questioned was that Frankie was taking pictures of the local airport and part of a plot involving the airport that is only 4 miles from my home. In hindsight, my husband recalled Frankie asking if he taught close quarter combat when he saw the jiu jitsu colors on his T-shirt. The place was closed for a week while that smoke rose from the ground. The other employees came and cleaned the place up after the police tape came down. All kinds of old, defunct ice boxes and piles of posters that were covering all the windows landed on the curb, not 50 yards from my home. The windows are clear now. It even stays somewhat clean. I still wouldn't buy anything that isn't in a commercially sealed, tamper proof container, if i needed it to prevent death. Besides, they no longer give free lolipops. I know they are there. The same people work there. We never saw Frankie again.

So, here's to not wanting to be a target, my fellow American. Your's will just have guards, locked bars and a known security presence. Mine sell milk to my naive neighbors and they don't take credit cards. We are all targets, my dear.

I don't write anymore. There was no one listening to me complain. My life is complicated to say the least. Lately I have found myself in a whirlwind of uncertainty. I was sick last week while Brian was in NC with the kids. I have no vacation time yet so I did not attend. Kayla stayed here with me. I went to work in the morning and sent baby off to daycare. By 11:30 I was back home and asleep on the couch. Through the waves of nausea and coldsweats, I napped until 4:30. I wasn't quite up to jumping in the car and picking up a 2yr old while keeping my guts in check. I had no one to call. No one to help me. It was very distressing. I had to pick myself up and go get her. I brought a baggie in the car just in case. I managed and then drove out to my mother's so I could park on her couch and hand off a two year old.

I have now realized that my circle of friends have disbanded. Either in fighting or an entire continent have fallen between us. Facebook is nice for keeping touch but they can't eat the burgers off the grill from there nor can they help pick up a kid when I've fallen on my ass. Around here, Hubby and I have been fighting the good fight by taking it in the ass by those who do not understand what burdens are. I am going to lose my home. I am going to court for custody of a 2yr old. I am buried in debt and I have a take home of around $500 a week to support it all. I am moving to NC within the year and I've never moved further than 20 minutes from home. I am moving because I can no longer afford to live here. I've been so busy helping others that I neglected to help myself. I have five children that are relying on me to provide for them. I will be having a garage sale to pay my bills. I cannot clothe my children. I cannot afford shoes. Health Care takes $220 out of my salary each week. My kids don't understand why I am at work all week and it's still not enough. My husband's massage practice has been doing very well. It has grown in leaps and bounds over the last 6 months. It's still not enough either. I hate telling my kids that I can't. I want to give them more. But I can't right now. I'm fighting the good fight. Maybe later.

I need someone who KNOWS kanji. I need to explain a concept and have that person say, "This is the Kanji you were looking for". I don't know anyone.

Last year sometime around February, I sent in a proposal to paint a simple stripey mural to a synagogue. It was the last proposal I ever wrote before business tanked with the housing market. They called me yesterday. I'll be scheduling for mid to late August. How's that for a surprise? Now, how shall I schedule that with the day job?

I am now the proud step parent of a child who has officially graduated high school. Congratulations Sabriana! I love you!

I've noticed that there are fewer of my friends posting these days. Has the dirty little facebook whore encaptivated them all?

We got our tax return check. Finally!! Our first venture was to the Brian needs a "new to us" vehicle. So he picked out a decent Ford Bronco. It's red and shiny. For the age, the inside is clean and the tires are new. Runs great and fits all of us. Which means that the 1985 Chevy G20 is up for a cheap sale or a fast trip to the scrap heap. She served us well. Always reliable and starts with two pumps of the pedal and one turn of the key. We just can't bear the cost of serving her anymore. She's too tired to keep begging for that new engine and transmission with 150k miles and that bubbly gurggly sound from the depths of the beast's bowels. So $200 to the nearest ambitious greasemonkey college kid with a band. Or, $200 from the scrap yard. I lean toward scrap because they wont call you back to tell you how broken a $200 van would be.

The second venture was to our local computer store. I am presently stroking the box that my new computer tower is sitting in. It's too late at night for me to start putting it together and installing programs. But it is 4GB RAM and 650GB storage of a beauty with a Intel Core 2 Quad processor! Hooray for technologies!!! I'm still running on the poor girl who crashed last Christmas. She has also served me well but too small for Adobe Suites and Media. Those are things I require for life. This ol' thang will be wiped clean and make its way upstairs for the children to play on.

Retail Therapy session #3 will entail a new dress for an awards dinner I will be attending in NYC this weekend. The dinner will be to honor my Tai Chi Chen instructor. There will be many prominent and famous martial arts grandmasters and celebrities in attendance. I've never been to anything like this. It will be interesting to say the least. Being the blue collar girl that I am, I'm not too familiar with the world of fashion. I wear jeans and T-shirts. I have a couple of nice shirts. I am totally lacking in the shoe department. I haven't even had a hair cut in almost a year. The nails are atrocious. I need either a gay man or a harem of women to help me at this point. And go me, it's this weekend! Nothing like a couple of kids to keep you on your toes.

Happy 420

FYI For all those who would like to help their fellow brothers & sisters:
Most people know that they can give unwanted items to Goodwill and the Salvation Army, but there are other, smaller charities that make use of specific items, including...
Children's and teen's books. Reader to Reader (413-256-8595, www.readertoreader.org) gives them to schools.
Prescription eyeglasses. Give the Gift of Sight (513-765-6000, www.givethegiftofsight.com) sends used glasses to developing countries. Drop them at LensCrafters, Pearle Vision, Sears Optical, Target Optical, BJ's Optical, Sunglass Hut or Lions Club.
Cell phones and rechargeable batteries. Call2Recycle (877-273-2925, www.rbrc.org/call2recycle) refurbishes and resells them, and part of the proceeds goes to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Drop-off sites: Best Buy, Lowe's, Sears and Target.
Coats. One Warm Coat (877-663-9276, www.onewarmcoat.org) distributes outerwear to those in need.
Musical instruments. Hungry for Music (202-479-2810, www.hungryformusic.org) distributes used musical instruments to underprivileged children.
Computers. National Cristina Foundation (203-863-9100, www.cristina.org) gives laptops, desktops and printers to nonprofit agencies.
Business clothing. Career Gear (212-577-6190, www.careergear.org) provides clothing for job interviews to low-income men. Dress for Success (212-532-1922, www.dressforsuccess.org) does the same for women.
Gowns and shoes. Fairy Godmothers Inc. (215-675-9391, www.fairygodmothersinc.com) gives dresses and shoes to needy high school girls for their proms.
Luggage. Suitcases for Kids (203-877-0300, www.suitcasesforkids.org) gathers luggage for foster children who move from home to home.